Saturday, June 28, 2008

Awww (insert floating hearts and balloons)

Here are a few things I love:

Watching A Couple Break Up In Public
Ohh this is REALLY juicy…have only witnessed it about 3 times but man, every time was great! Love when the dumpee gets angry and starts pitching fits…and then demands the ‘goodbye hug’ nasty of me I’m sure, but I LOVE watching it unfold…oh..and here's a suggestion for all you public dumpees-the dumper never changes their mind so forget the pleading….

Free Samples
Ohhh LOVE it..I always make a beeline for that old lady holding out a tray of anything….hmmmm….what’s in that one? Yum! I usually pretend to be very interested in the product..I'll ask a few questions..make believe I am about to purchase the biggest package they sell.....sometimes I'm even able to scam another sample if I ask the right questions.

The Perfect Banana
No hint of green…light brown speckling…really big….ahh bliss!

Snacking at Bulk Barn Shops
Especially if there is a sign that reads ‘NO Snacking!’

Adjusting my Scale so I am 5 lbs Lighter

I know it’s not true but I don’t tell myself that

Picking a Good Scab
My motto has been ‘I never pick a scab before it’s time'. If you pick it too early you will bleed and/or scar. You gotta wait until the scab is so crusted over that it will just peel off your skin-but gotta get it before it begins to fall off in chunks. I especially like head scabs..just love sliding that scab through my hair..then cracking it between my fingernails. I do not, however, bite/eat them-I’ve known people who do and always turn my nose up at them… plebeians..

Guys on Sports Bike

There is nothing sexier than a guy riding a sports bike (no cruisers-yuck) the way they disobey all traffic laws, the way they fly down the highway-just a blur of bright colour…a guy on a sports bike should have no trouble getting laid.

Flipping the Bird to the Cops
I do it every single time I am in the car and a cop car goes by. Of course, I do it beneath the window so they can’t see…I am a cowardly rebel..

2 comments:

R.N. D said...

Sorry but people who adjust their scales 5 lbs lighter or their clocks 15 min. later make me wonder why they are not in reality.

Anonymous said...

you smell