Wash Your Face In Gravy

Ben starts junior kindergarten this September. I had it all planned. He would attend the morning class….it would give our nanny a break and also allow Ben to still take his afternoon nap.

Well we got the notice and he was put in the afternoon class…dang…so first I called the vice principal to complain…he couldn’t give a shit about my child or his napping schedule…kinda told me to ‘fuck off and leave me alone’ (not his words).

So dh gave me the number to our councillor…the furthest I got was someone’s EA…she said she would tell the school superintendent but I have not been contacted..hrmph…oh well….I guess they are city hall..what’s a gal to do?

I know Ben will be that kid SCREAMING when we drop him off..he will be inconsolable and will not participate in circle time nor pull out his snack during ‘snack time’. He probably won’t settle in until grade 6 or so..sigh….

When I started kindergarten there was a kid named ‘Michael’ who cried the whole first class…also a girl who’s name escapes me but that night at dinner time I did a fabulous rendition of ‘I wantttttt my MMMOOMMMMYYYYYYY’ which is what she howled for the 2.5 hours we were there…had my family in stitches….unfortunately she chippered up the next day so had no ammo for that night’s meal.

Michael’s first language was not English so he never spoke. Once that bitch kindergarten teacher ‘Mrs. Miss’ FORCED the poor boy to say ‘purple’ and he spewed out the word with a shriek/cry. ..horrible when I think about it today…but as a 5 year old I just took that as material for my next performance at dinner time..that ‘purple’ scene was used for months. Sometimes I had my eldest sister playing the part of ‘Mrs. Miss’.

We thankfully moved from that kindergarten in March. My next kindergarten was much better (although that teacher did spank my bum for failing to clean up my finger painting mess)

When I graduated to grade one I felt like such a hot shot teenage girl. I remember I was so proud I got to go to school in the afternoon as well…like all the other big kids.

Once my aunt and older male cousin were over at my house mid week. I remember making a BIG show that I was GOING BACK TO SCHOOL for the afternoon. Walked around our tiny bungalow hollering
‘MA…MA…. I’m off now! Going BACK TO SCHOOL for the afternoon’

Then as I walked away from the house I remember wiggling my bum just in case my male cousin was watching me…