And Now a Word from Kathy

Dear Angela,

I was wondering if you could give me some relationship advice?
I'm a 34 year old woman who has been dating this guy for the past 6 years. The problem is that I want to get married and have kids. My boy-friend keeps saying that he's not ready. I refuse to live with him until we're married. I really love this guy but can't wait forever. My friends tell me to get pregnant and then he'll marry me. What do you think? Should I keep waiting, while my eggs are rotting?
Kathy

Ok..Kathy.....it aint just your eggs that are rotting...I think that pea brain of yours is decomposing pretty damn quickly as well.

Let's just take each path separately and see which one suits you best. Firstly:

1. Getting knocked up in hopes he gets down on bended knee
Ok..let's assume that he does the honourable thing and marries you once you tell him the rabbit died. Now what? Fast forward 1 year. You tired and fat (and 'yes', you will get fat) with a blubbery stomach bouncing a screaming colicky baby in your arms. He, looking at you as if to say 'thanks for the great life sweetheart'.

Having a screaming baby ( and 'yes' your baby will scream) is hard enough..but then to have this schmuck that didn't want to marry you giving you dirty looks every time it happens is beyond horrible....keep taking the pill...

2. Scream like a banshee and beg and plead until he relents and marries you.
If you bully the guy into marrying you it may work-he may have a moment of weakness (coupled with 4 fuzzy navels) and accept your proposal. But if you bully a man to marry you can be guaranteed of 3 things:
1. You can NEVER nag him to take out the garbage, wash his own stinky socks, or anything else.

2. He will always get to pick the vacation spots-hope you like fishing and Star Trek conventions.

3. You will have to give tons of blow jobs during your marriage...other women can stop that after the babies come..but not you my dear..you must always prove to him that he did not make the a wrong decision.

3. Walk away
This is the best option. Leave him. Pack your stuff and let him watch you walk away-bum a wiggling as you go. He may plead and he may beg, he may even change a bit. But make sure he has that ring and a date before you go back...and really...is it worth it to go back? Make sure he is either:
Very rich or
Great in the sack.

If a man is either of these things then you've got a shot at a happy marriage..otherwise...consider spinsterhood....I hear you get to wear those white eyelet flowy nightgowns.........