Allow me to preface this post with a quick comment. A few of my IRL friends have suggested some professions for me to comment on. So I will be discussing professions for today and tomorrow. After that it will be back to 'fa la la tra la la' and I will stop being so 'mean' as people have told me....hrmphh....I shall make a wonderful old lady 'Get off my lawn you pesky kids' ahhh can't wait! Ok..back to the post!
Ok…a librarian has the best job in the world. Being surrounded by books all day..quiet warm library…the only sounds you hear is a stray cough or the ‘bleep’ sound the check out machine makes. Wandering down the slightly dusty library aisles….making a pit stop in the periodicals….putting away the 3 toys down in the ‘Kidz Zone’….sigh…Such a tranquil calm existence. Such a darling way to live….but are they happy?? Ahhhh…no!!!
Librarians are the crabbiest people you will ever meet (worse than nurses). For some reason they have all decided to be frighteningly angry employees.
And why? Why? What’s so hard about their job?
They sit behind a desk and give people dirty looks.
They collect 55 cents in overdue fees.
What is so hard? The Dewey Decimal System? I learned that in grade 5-piece of cake!
Never mind the ‘sexy’ librarian. Most of them have huge asses and will NOT doll themselves up in some naughty lingerie. They are more likely to go home, feed their 3 cats, open up a can of peaches in heavy syrup for dinner and watch ‘Ally MacBeal’ reruns….forget your fantasies buddy..
When you try to check out your books and you owe money from a book you borrowed in 1994 they act like you are a criminal. I think they LOVE this part of their job.
They will announce VERY loudly (even though they ‘shush’ everyone else!):
Evil Librarian: ‘You OWE $32.95. The system says you still have not returned the book ‘Chicken Stew for the Nerds' Soul’
Poor You: ‘I…err…returned that book 14 years ago…I’m positive.’
Evil Librarian: ‘The system does not indicate that. WE do not have this book. Please return the book and pay the fine or pay for the book. I CANNOT check out these books for you until you do’
I am wanted in 5 different libraries….I have even used my sister’s library card when I was denied..then I ruined her credit…..librarians hate me…and the feeling is mutual.
Their only saving graces are as follows: they are usually very smart, well read, shower daily, iron their clothes, never speed, and have nice quiet sneezes (my favourite).
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