Every time I pass a fire alarm I want to pull the switch. It's like this invisible hand tugging at me....it would be so much FUN to pull that lever down.
Of course, being the rational human that I am, I resist. But I find myself always wanting to walk on the naughty side. Not foxy lady naughty...more like 9 year old boy naughty...
When I was in my early 20s I lived and worked in a mountain resort village in Alberta. I worked in a fine dining room as a hostess and would frequently walk through the dining room whilst snazzy rich people stuffed food down their gob.
As I walked by I always had the urge to pick up an ice bucket and dump it on a patron's head..not sure why..I always played out the reactions. I would dump the ice bucket on a rich lady's head. She would stand up in horror and shriek. Her companion would rise and assist her in removing the ice bucket. Everyone would turn and look. Many people would gasp or say 'tsk' by clicking their tongues to the roof of their mouths.
Then, the axe would fall. The boss would seek me out. Now what would he say? Would he ask me why? Would he just fire me? Would he punch me in the nose?
And then to walk out of there...and I would surely have to pack my things and get out of the village...but what bus would I catch back to the city?
I play out all the scenerios and then decide I shall leave the ice bucket on the floor.
I also think about what would happen if I told my boss's boss to fuck off. Again, I play it out. This mini vignette in my mind. What expression will be on his face? How long before he reacts?
I suppose its my secret way to be a daredevil.
I remember as a child my sister Tina and I loved turning the lights out in a womens' washroom. This was usually accomplished during a wedding reception. Not only did we love turning the lights off but one of us stayed inside the washroom to witness the reaction.
The one who turned out the lights would flick the switch and make a mad dash. The one left inside would quietly sit in the bathroom stall and listen to the women shriek.
'What's going on!!' they cried!
Some were on the toilet, others reapplying their lipstick after having it removed by some randy date of theirs.
We also used to play 'nicky nicky nine door' which means knocking on people's doors and then running away...oh what fun!!!
I even broke one of my front teeth playing nicky nicky when I was 10 years old....
Now that I am older I still switch the light off in womens' washroom and play nicky nicky but my urges have gotten more risky. Thankfully, I am far too rational and/or cowardly to ever succumb to them.
I always thought these urges were one of my crosses to bear and nobody else felt them. Then one day my friend Dee told me when she is driving down a busy road she has a strong urge to pull her car into oncoming traffic...never does it...just has the urge.....ahh a kindred spirit!
Of course, being the rational human that I am, I resist. But I find myself always wanting to walk on the naughty side. Not foxy lady naughty...more like 9 year old boy naughty...
When I was in my early 20s I lived and worked in a mountain resort village in Alberta. I worked in a fine dining room as a hostess and would frequently walk through the dining room whilst snazzy rich people stuffed food down their gob.
As I walked by I always had the urge to pick up an ice bucket and dump it on a patron's head..not sure why..I always played out the reactions. I would dump the ice bucket on a rich lady's head. She would stand up in horror and shriek. Her companion would rise and assist her in removing the ice bucket. Everyone would turn and look. Many people would gasp or say 'tsk' by clicking their tongues to the roof of their mouths.
Then, the axe would fall. The boss would seek me out. Now what would he say? Would he ask me why? Would he just fire me? Would he punch me in the nose?
And then to walk out of there...and I would surely have to pack my things and get out of the village...but what bus would I catch back to the city?
I play out all the scenerios and then decide I shall leave the ice bucket on the floor.
I also think about what would happen if I told my boss's boss to fuck off. Again, I play it out. This mini vignette in my mind. What expression will be on his face? How long before he reacts?
I suppose its my secret way to be a daredevil.
I remember as a child my sister Tina and I loved turning the lights out in a womens' washroom. This was usually accomplished during a wedding reception. Not only did we love turning the lights off but one of us stayed inside the washroom to witness the reaction.
The one who turned out the lights would flick the switch and make a mad dash. The one left inside would quietly sit in the bathroom stall and listen to the women shriek.
'What's going on!!' they cried!
Some were on the toilet, others reapplying their lipstick after having it removed by some randy date of theirs.
We also used to play 'nicky nicky nine door' which means knocking on people's doors and then running away...oh what fun!!!
I even broke one of my front teeth playing nicky nicky when I was 10 years old....
Now that I am older I still switch the light off in womens' washroom and play nicky nicky but my urges have gotten more risky. Thankfully, I am far too rational and/or cowardly to ever succumb to them.
I always thought these urges were one of my crosses to bear and nobody else felt them. Then one day my friend Dee told me when she is driving down a busy road she has a strong urge to pull her car into oncoming traffic...never does it...just has the urge.....ahh a kindred spirit!
No comments:
Post a Comment