Accountants
Ok..accountants are really pretty decent people. They are usually a lot funnier than we give them credit for. They are also very nice and have a knack for vegetable gardens.
Accountants are, of course, very cheap. They track every single dime. They know exactly how much is in all of their accounts (and they have TONS of accounts-like little squirrels burying their money for the long winter ahead).
They also have a great deal of self restraint. You will never catch an accountant swearing at the girl behind the McDonalds counter, or telling a cop to ‘f-off’ (not even under their breath), or sneaking a peek at the end of a Mystery novel.
They are modest in dress and think they are HILARIOUS if they wear a ‘Daffy Duck Christmas’ tie for the office holiday dinner. Yeah, anyone who wears those stupid novelty ties is probably an accountant. Female accountants always wear fashion from at least 15 years ago…they think nobody will notice but we all do.
That’s about all I have to say about them..they really are pretty bland…but get a few ‘Fuzzy Navels’ in them and they end up being pretty funny characters..try it….
Firefighters
Ok..who doesn’t love a firefighter? Who? They are brave and strong (anyone who can carry me is a-ok in my book)
They also walk into danger as cowards are running over grandma to run out. They are better equipped at handling a medical emergency than most doctors/nurses/shamans.
They usually have outstanding bodies and great laughs. Many of them are really nice –especially to kids. I really love firefighters.
Their only bad points are as follows:
If you are married to one-look out. You will (at best) never rank higher than their fellow firefighters. So be prepared to play second fiddle..
Some of them have the tendency to cheat-especially the ones that are in the calendars.
Many of them sport moustaches when clearly they would look better without one. And the ones they do grow are so 1970s porn star. They also part their hair wrong-either way off to one side or dead centre.
Their feet are smelly. They make really stinky poops.
That’s about it-all else is divine.
Business Analyst/Systems Analyst
If you have the word ‘anal’ in your job title you can be assured of two things:
1. You are very picky.
2. You smell.
I find these computer geeks to be quite intriguing. They are undeniably geeky but many of them have a creative/quirky side to them. They are either really good at art or reciting poetry or perhaps writing nasty limericks.
I have had a weird secret crush on many BAs…and some of them even smelled…but there is something about them..the way they ask a whole bunch of nonsensical questions….and then scribble it down (face really close to their book as they write)….the way they keep hounding you….the way they never seem to get anything done….yet they are constantly hovering around…
They are peculiar creatures that are great when you get a few beers in them. They are also very good at darts.
Many of them have sweat stains under their arms.
Ok..I’ve exhausted my insults to the career world. If anyone feels I should add in a profession then let me know! I will be more than happy to insult you and your profession!
Ok..accountants are really pretty decent people. They are usually a lot funnier than we give them credit for. They are also very nice and have a knack for vegetable gardens.
Accountants are, of course, very cheap. They track every single dime. They know exactly how much is in all of their accounts (and they have TONS of accounts-like little squirrels burying their money for the long winter ahead).
They also have a great deal of self restraint. You will never catch an accountant swearing at the girl behind the McDonalds counter, or telling a cop to ‘f-off’ (not even under their breath), or sneaking a peek at the end of a Mystery novel.
They are modest in dress and think they are HILARIOUS if they wear a ‘Daffy Duck Christmas’ tie for the office holiday dinner. Yeah, anyone who wears those stupid novelty ties is probably an accountant. Female accountants always wear fashion from at least 15 years ago…they think nobody will notice but we all do.
That’s about all I have to say about them..they really are pretty bland…but get a few ‘Fuzzy Navels’ in them and they end up being pretty funny characters..try it….
Firefighters
Ok..who doesn’t love a firefighter? Who? They are brave and strong (anyone who can carry me is a-ok in my book)
They also walk into danger as cowards are running over grandma to run out. They are better equipped at handling a medical emergency than most doctors/nurses/shamans.
They usually have outstanding bodies and great laughs. Many of them are really nice –especially to kids. I really love firefighters.
Their only bad points are as follows:
If you are married to one-look out. You will (at best) never rank higher than their fellow firefighters. So be prepared to play second fiddle..
Some of them have the tendency to cheat-especially the ones that are in the calendars.
Many of them sport moustaches when clearly they would look better without one. And the ones they do grow are so 1970s porn star. They also part their hair wrong-either way off to one side or dead centre.
Their feet are smelly. They make really stinky poops.
That’s about it-all else is divine.
Business Analyst/Systems Analyst
If you have the word ‘anal’ in your job title you can be assured of two things:
1. You are very picky.
2. You smell.
I find these computer geeks to be quite intriguing. They are undeniably geeky but many of them have a creative/quirky side to them. They are either really good at art or reciting poetry or perhaps writing nasty limericks.
I have had a weird secret crush on many BAs…and some of them even smelled…but there is something about them..the way they ask a whole bunch of nonsensical questions….and then scribble it down (face really close to their book as they write)….the way they keep hounding you….the way they never seem to get anything done….yet they are constantly hovering around…
They are peculiar creatures that are great when you get a few beers in them. They are also very good at darts.
Many of them have sweat stains under their arms.
Ok..I’ve exhausted my insults to the career world. If anyone feels I should add in a profession then let me know! I will be more than happy to insult you and your profession!
Have a nice day!
1 comment:
Au contraire! Firefighters are HOT! Especially the ones in calendars. Their "porn" moustaches just advertise their vast knowledge of female erogenous zones. And when that's happening...who's looking at their hair!? As for being smelly and poopy - they are men after all!
There once was a BA from Barrie,
who was smelly as well as hairy.
Questions were asked with zeal,
Results weren't part of the deal.
His taste for beer and darts,
Rivaled sweat stains and farts.
Sounds too good to be true?
He probably wouldn't pick you.
:(
Post a Comment